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Marriage

BASIC WEDDING CEREMONY

The following is a basic outline for a Zen Buddhist wedding ceremony as conducted by priests at ZCLA. Changes are made according to the wishes of the couple and officiant.

(Man on right; Woman on left when facing the altar; from officiant view, man is on left, bride on right; Gay couples determine position during rehearsal.)

  • Music while guests arrive (optional)
  • Music stops when we are ready to begin
  • Welcome by Master of Ceremonies
  • Seating of parents and/or special guests
  • Officiant enters
  • Best man enters (Best man and Bridesmaids optional)
  • Groom enters, led by attendant & bells
  • Bridesmaid enters
  • Bride enters, led by attendant & bells
  • Short meditation
  • Exhortation
  • Readings by Family or Friends (optional)
  • Invocation of Three Treasures
  • Gatha of Atonement & Water Purification
  • Vows — Life Precepts
  • Couple Offers Incense
  • Couple Exchanges Personal Vows (written by couple)
  • Exchange of Rings
  • Chanting of Sutra, along with dedication of Merit (optional)
  • Officiant’s Announcement
  • Congratulations from Family and/or Guests (optional)
  • Congratulations from Officiant
  • Bride and Groom Exit
  • Officiant and Attendants Exit
  • Congregation Exits

Sign all legal documents – review beforehand: witnesses, officiant, check for marriage license, stamped self-addressed return envelope, double stamp main envelope, etc.

  • PROCESSIONAL
  • Officiant enters, followed by Best Man (if any)
  • Attendant brings in Groom
  • Bridesmaid enters, if any
  • Attendant brings in Bride
  • OFFICIANT: “Let us begin this wedding ceremony with a moment of meditation.” (SHORT PAUSE)
  • OFFICIANT: Thank you. (Offers incense; B & G offer)
  • OFFICIANT:
  • We have come together in the presence of Wisdom, Truth, and Harmony to unite _____ and _____ in matrimony [check how names are to be stated]
  • In marriage, that which was two becomes one; from this union comes the abundant life of all humanity.
  • Nothing happens without cause. This is a marriage not only of two individuals, but of the working of cause and effect through many past lives. It is not only because of your love for each other, but also of the grace of your parents, your friends, and community. Today, two streams of practice are joined to become one. Let us deeply appreciate the benevolent guidance of the Three Treasures.
  • As you start your new life together, keeping this understanding in your hearts, may you, _____ and _____ [first names], be lastingly true to your vows, and in growing together, strengthen each other. May your mutual love and respect refresh and encourage you to faithfully follow the Enlightened Way for the sake of all beings.
  • May you establish a happy wedded life, and may you live in accord with wisdom and compassion.
  • OFFICIANT: “We will now have a reading by ________________.” [optional]
  • OFFICIANT: Now I will invoke the Three Treasures of Buddha or Wisdom, the Dharma or Teachings, and Family & Community or Harmony.
  • Being one with the Buddhas (Awakened Ones) in the Ten Directions (clappers)
  • Being one with the Dharma (Teachings) in the Ten Directions
  • Being one with the Sangha (Community) in the Ten Directions
  • Being one with our Principal Teacher Shakyamuni Buddha
  • Being one with Great Compassionate Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva
  • Being one with Great Activity Samantabhadra Bodhisattva
  • Being one with Great Wisdom Manjusri Bodhisattva
  • Being one with Great Protector of Women, Children and the Earth Kshitagarba Bodhisattva
  • Being one with the founders of the Soto Zen Sect Dogen Zenji and Keizan Zenji
  • Being one with the successive great teachers in our lineage.
  • OFFICIANT:  (offers incense) “We will now recite the Verse of Atonement.”
  • (Read or chant together with Couple; 3 times)
  • All karma ever committed by me since of old,
  • Due to my beginningless greed, hatred, lust, envy and delusion,
  • Born of my action, speech, and thoughts
  • Now I atone for it all.
  • OFFICIANT: (Do water purification)
  • OFFICIANT:  We will now recite your marriage vows. Please repeat after me.
  • I go to Wisdom for guidance (B & G repeat each line)
  • I go to Truth for guidance.
  • I go to Harmony for guidance.
  • I will seek my strength in purity of life.
  • I will seek my honor in sincerity of speech.
  • I will seek my joy in readiness to serve.
  • OFFICIANT: Now you will receive the Ten Grave precepts.
  • OFFICIANT:  The first precept is to practice non-killing, to not lead a harmful life nor encourage others to do so. Will you practice gratitude, abstain from killing living beings, and live in harmony with all life and the environment which sustains it?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT: The second precept is to practice non-stealing. Will you practice contentment, abstain from taking anything not given, and freely give, ask for, and accept what is needed?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The third precept is to practice chaste conduct. Will you practice love, abstain from unchastity, and give and accept love and friendship without clinging?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The fourth precept is to practice non-lying. Will you practice honesty, abstain from lying, speak the truth and deceive no one, and see and act in accordance with what is?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The fifth precept is to practice not clouding the mind and not cultivating ignorance. Will you practice awareness, keep your mind clear and embrace all experience directly?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The sixth precept is to practice not talking about others errors and faults. Will you practice kindness, abstain from blaming or criticizing others, and acknowledge responsibility for everything in your life?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The seventh precept is to practice not elevating yourselves and blaming others. Will you practice humility, abstain from competing with others or coveting recognition, and give your best efforts and accept the results?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The eighth precept is to practice not being stingy in the bestowal of the teachings. Will you practice generosity, freely bestow the teachings, and not foster a mind of poverty in yourself and others?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The ninth precept is to practice not being angry. Will you practice determination, abstain from anger, not harboring resentment, rage, or revenge and roll all negative experiences into your practice?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  The tenth precept is to practice not speaking ill of the Truth, the Teachings, and those who practice the Teachings. Will you practice tolerance and recognize yourself and others as manifestations of the Oneness of Buddha, the diversity of Dharma, and the harmony of Sangha?
  • COUPLE: We will.
  • OFFICIANT:  Now repeat after me:
  • Therefore, I promise to myself: (Couple repeat each line)
  • To do what I think to be my duty.
  • To speak what I think to be the truth.
  • To help others in what I think to be fair.
  • If I do wrong, I shall not make it worse by trying to find excuses for myself. I accept full responsibility for action and reaction, for motive and effect.
  • May the sincerity of this resolution give me strength to fulfill my duties toward myself and toward others.
  • OFFICIANT: invites couple to offer incense. (Officiant recites verse while couple offers incense.)
  • This incense is offered for the Buddha of No-Marks
  • For the Buddha who is all things
  • For Shakyamuni Buddha
  • For all the Buddhas who do not know they are Buddha
  • For the protectors of Buddhism
  • For all those who with unceasing effort
  • Crossed the ocean-of-one-point
  • Bringing us this vast Dharma
  • For this fruit of many kalpas
  • All the world pays homage.
  • OFFICIANT: “You will now exchange your personal wedding vows.” (Censes vows & gives first to Bride or as designated for Gay couples; after she reads, cense again & give to Groom.”)
  • OFFICIANT:  “You will now exchange your wedding rings.” (Officiant censes Bride’s ring & gives to Groom.)
  • OFFICIANT: _____, what token do you offer in recognition of these vows?
  • G: This ring.
  • OFFICIANT: In offering this ring, which marks your desire to enter into the days of your life with one another, repeat after me: “With this ring I marry you and join my life with yours.”
  • G: “With this ring I marry you and join my life with yours.”
  • (Officiant censes Groom’s ring & gives to Bride.)
  • OFFICIANT: _____, what token do you offer in recognition of these vows?
  • B: This ring.
  • OFFICIANT: In offering this ring, which marks your desire to enter into the days of your life with one another, repeat after me: “With this ring I marry you and join my life with yours.”
  • B: “With this ring I marry you and join my life with yours.”
  •  OFFICIANT: “Since you have both consented together and formalized in our presence this bond of matrimony, be it hereby acknowledged that _____ and _____ (How do you wish your names stated here?) are husband and wife.” (Wedding kiss)
  • OFFICIANT: “We will now have congratulatory remarks from family and friends.” – (Optional) Master of Ceremonies introduces the speakers
  • OFFICIANT:  Congratulations & Presentation of Mr. & Mrs_____________. (How to state names.)
  • Couple exits.
  • Wedding Party & Officiant exits
  • Master of Ceremony makes announcements.
  •  Everyone else exits.
  • Sign all legal documents.